What Celebrity Would You Fuck?
Fuck.. ugh I really almost detest that word as its over used and I much prefer have hot monkey animal sex with! Or how about hump that sausage pole then devour like a hungry third world 20 year old looking to make a quick buck to feed the family! *ok that one was a bit mean but I KNOW you still laughed! * In the words of one of my favorite if not MY FAVORITE musicals, Avenue Q “we’re all a little bit racist”. Thanks Olive Leaf for showing me the youtube clips to that musical I could die!.
Well lets bring this back to topic shall we? Ok so a good pal of mine’s theory is you can tell alot about a person based on what celebrities they would and wouldn’t fuck. She is so adment about it that she has been known to stop talking to people based on their fantasies with the forbidden or rather most likely not to happen! So Casey here is a list of who I would fuck and why and who I wouldn’t, hope we are still friends after this lol!
Tyson BE MINE PLEASE
1. Tyson Beckford! For one thing we all know that while I would man handle any man with a decent sized cock, I do seem to go for the darker of the chocolate more often than not. I love Tyson’s build and how manly he is, to look at this man makes my liver quiver! I swear I could honestly almost cum while viewing this picture and I do not care if you are gay or bi sexual or straight, if you are truly secure in your sexuality you will find this man is almost God like status is his build.
Another bonus is he is no sterotypical dum dum. Tyson is smart, witty and often known for his very generous and caring side. I like that he doesn’t live very lavishly; yet, he likes to make sure the ladies do! Spoil her keep little to yourself! I LIKE! I would love to mount this staillion right where the back drop is for this lovely picture, on the beach! Feeling him trust inside me and my tits flopping about as the water glides over them, simply heavenly if I do say so myself. Have the half weightless feel as we turn and toss about in the sand and half in the water. Who cares if any one sees us… I mean who wouldn’t want to be caught bouncing up and down on THAT DING A LING?
Man Gets Sexier With Age!
2. Moving on with my celebrity fantasy wet dreams would be Will Smith! This man is so outrageous hot and what is worse is he gets hotter with age! Will was once known as the immature, ever running pranks, and basic wanna be bad boy on his hit show of the time Princess of Bel Air, he then went on to do dumb comedy movies and eventually landed into some heavy hitting more mature adult roles such as Ali. Enough about his career though look that that BODY! Even in one of his latest movies, I Am Legend, the man was ripped! I about jumped out of my seat at the theater and licked the popcorn and soda syrup stains off the cloth like screen just to pretend I was touching that Legendary body. Also let us please note the many interviews with Jada, where she denotes he is very freaky in bed and even had a special room built for their bdsm play. My only question would be whether I would be able to get the collar on him? Hmmm?
With that known tidbit I would have to say I would tie Will to a bed and tickle him with my nipples then tongue bathe him with a subbie watching the corner, and proceed in riding him till my little heart stopped beating!
A humina humina humina OH!
3. If Mr Denzel Washington is not on your list of celebrity ugly bumpers then you are A. lying to yourself, B. extremely homophobic and lying to yourself or C. been under a rock for the past 10 years. This man is dead sexy and just like Will Smith only time makes him better! He maybe older than me but that just means this interracial relationship would benefit me by him teaching me a few things, as I am sure I could give this old dog a new bone to fetch!
He seems so sensual in all his movies and in real life, I would like to break that. I would want him to toss me against a wall and fuck me like a back alley 2 dollar whore. Just rip my clothes off, call me a slut and bend me every which way, even pull my hair. I want to see that nice Training Day side of him like when he is slipping it to Eva Mendez.
Latina Love
4. Which brings me to my fourth star crossed lover, the big bootied Eva Mendez! This lady is just hella hot! She started as a video babe now is a major actress with a major Asset! Her ass is so delicious, I would do 1000 jumping jacks upside down in a nursing home for 10 days straight just to have the chance to lace it with Cherry Sherbert and lick it off her slowly, while tongue kissing it back into her mouth for a glorious snowball. *I don’t ask for much do I?* Yes while I have bigger boobies I like her smaller ones, its a nice contrast! Put my hands around them and just suckle on them for a few hours! YUM! Not to mention how she admitted in Maxim magazine she has an addiction to Red Bull! I would slather myself in Red Bull just to get her eyes watering with passion and pounce on me to lick it off. Ahh lesbo fantasies!
Oh So Foxy
5. Megan Fox, need I say more? She is the essence of all our wet dreams at the moment be you realize it or not! She would be my Eva opposite, big boobies and not much ass but those eyes! Omg I could just sit there masturbating while looking into those eyes and just have an explosive orgasm. Ok I admit it the Maxim edition with her featured, I cut her out and posted her on my wall like some high school crazed fan and I do often masturbate to those eyes. My semi creepy confession yes its true.
Ok so lets get to those losers I wouldn’t fuck if God ordered me to at risk of losing all my beauty and brains. Please note I REFUSE post pictures of these trolls, want to see them then google!
1. Flava Flav. He was ew back in the day and just as gross now only now his ego is out of the house due to the throng of fame straved, ghetto ass no bodies throwing themselves at him. This troll shouldn’t be on anyone’s radar that has a brain, realizes that reality star fame doesn’t last long at all, and has any kind of self respect about themselves, and yes this is coming from what many describe as a “phone ho”. At least I keep it real, I am here for the money, and while the fun intelligent conversation is a plus; I am not chasing fame at all, just trying to get through college!
2. Flava Flava’s Troll offspring New York. This bitch reminds me of the WIll Smith Song *heart pitter patter* where he describes getting down into the bed with a hottie and her ass comes off with her jeans and her bra was stuffed, her weave falls off and she has no hair, then her eye lashes, and her lips deflate. Well that is Tiffany in a nutshell. She is loud and ignorant and makes an ass of her self everytime she appears. From her tacky clothes *note not trashy but tacky* to her over the top ugly fake hair, to her loud obnoxious voice. She is as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside and any one who could get a boner to that is truly desprete as the thought of her makes my pussy dry out!
3. Bret Micheals. This man has acosted me everywhere! Reality shows, my Ipod, GO AWAY! Any old fart who requires as much or more hairspray and eyeliner as I do I could do without. Also Bretty Boy I’ve seen the sex tape… unamaginative and your dick is well uninspiring….
4. Simon Cowell. A. how did you get famous again? Oh yeah for being euro trash that likes to diss people for doing something you can’t do yourself… Also seen the beach pictures, talk to Bret, I am sure he can lend you his penis pump you limp dick loser!
5. Star Jones. Not smart, very annoying, needs to lay off the ding dongs, and stop beating up on you boy toys…. remember beatings are fun when consentual you retard!
Ok well those were my celebrity hotties who I would love to just slip down on and give them the head job of their lives and also the bozos I would love to erase from the face of the Earth. Call me up tonight and tell me who you would or wouldn’t do!
